


Step by step

by FixaIdea



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Original Trilogy
Genre: (even if at this point they don't know that), Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family Fluff, Gen, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-26
Updated: 2016-03-26
Packaged: 2018-05-29 05:48:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 982
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6361900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FixaIdea/pseuds/FixaIdea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the destruction of the Death Star, Leia Organa begins to process the loss of Alderaan. Step by step.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Step by step

Night fell over the Rebel Base of Yavin IV. It was almost empty now, with only a couple dozen people left, who were scheduled to leave on the morning.

Leia Organa was in one of the hangars, adding the final touches to her own packages. Everything bulkier or strategically important was already neatly boxed and ready to be loaded, all that was left unpacked were some personal items.

She was rummaging through some pieces of clothing, spare comm-links and some data-pads… She paused and picked one up.

It was an older model, and contained mostly fiction instead of Rebellion-related information. Understandably she had very little time to pick it up these days. She turned it on with a fond smile.

She flipped through the titles, allowing the memories to warm her heart, letting her mind drift, just a little bit. All her favourite stories… Except one, of course. There was the one, a crime story about the Jedi Knight and the corrupt duke, she has been meaning to download it for ages. Her father had it saved and he promised her he would copy it to her pad…

…her father.

Her throat clenched up. She didn’t even realise her knees have gone weak until the back of her thighs hit one of the boxes. She sank down on it, trembling.

The data-pad was beginning to blur in front of her eyes.

Suddenly she felt the tentative touch of a hand on her shoulder.

’Princess Leia? Leia?’

And of course, of course someone had to find her like this. Just her luck. At least it was Skywalker and not that cocky bastard smuggler.

‘It’s nothing’ she said, waving a hand.

‘Sure doesn’t look like nothing to me’ said Luke, squatting in front of her.

‘I mean of course you don’t have to tell me anything if you don’t want to‘ he added in a stuttering rush, rubbing the back of his neck ‘I just thought…’

‘It’s just…’ she waved the data-pad helplessly ‘This silly thing. I asked my father to download one of his books on it and he never has. I was pestering him about it for ages. I was just flipping through it right now and… Well, he can never do it now, can he…’

She couldn’t finish it. She squeezed her eyes shut to stop the tears but gave up after a moment and just let them flow. She felt Luke’s hand on her arm again and she pitched forward, letting her head drop on his shoulder. He hugged her close immediately, shifting onto his knees so Leia didn’t have to stretch so far forward.

She fisted his shirt and hid her face in the crook of his neck. Despite his overeager, excitable nature, there was something infinitely _safe_ about Luke, something strangely familiar and comforting. They stayed like that for a long time, without a word, Luke rubbing soft circles into her back.

Finally Leia pulled back with a shuddering breath. Luke sat back on his heels and shot her a questioning look. She patted the box beside her – Luke joined her immediately.

‘Alderaan blew up right in front of my eyes and… and I didn’t feel anything. I know, logically, that shock does that to people, but still. Nothing. And now I found this data-pad and…’ her breath hitched again’ Billions died and I felt nothing but emptiness and now just looking at this blasted, silly little thing makes me cry.’

‘I get it’ said Luke, taking her hand ‘What happened to my home was a _lot_ smaller, but the real weight of it only hit me the other day when I got up and wanted to give my aunt a morning hug. And you know… maybe you just can’t mourn a whole planet.’

‘What do you mean by that?’ asked Leia, frowning.

‘Well you see’ Luke started, fidgeting, visibly struggling to find the right words ‘It’s just such a huge thing? Like how do you even imagine that? A whole planet, just gone, just like that? Of course you will latch onto small things first, no? Human-sized things?’

Leia pulled herself up a bit to look the boy properly in the eyes.

‘So what you’re saying is that my mind is actually trying to process what happened, it just has to break it down to manageable bits?’

Luke blinked – apparently putting it in these exact words didn’t occur to him till this moment – but then cocked his head and nodded slowly.

‘Yeah. Pretty much. I mean I don’t know all that much about this mental stuff, it’s just what I think…’ he trailed off, embarrassed.

‘You’re probably right though. Maybe I’ll properly understand it one day’.

She heaved a heavy sigh and added:

‘I’m not exactly looking forward to that day.’

Luke put an arm around her shoulder and pulled her close again.

‘You’ve got me, you know that, right? I mean, you can always come to me if you ever need anyone…’

‘I know. I will’ she said and found, much to her own surprise, actually meaning it ‘Thank you.’

After sitting together like that for a few more minutes Leia stood with a resigned sigh. She reached down and helped Luke to his feet too. She squeezed his hand and after sharing a last, melancholy smile they parted ways.

Leia didn’t ask him not to mention this to anyone. She knew he wouldn’t.

It was going to be hard, processing and accepting what happened, especially considering how little time she had to herself, to reflect on and properly mourn all that has been lost. But maybe like that, knowing she had at least one loyal friend she could lean on, should she ever need it, it would be just a little bit easier.

(Well, two. Maybe two, if that obnoxious nerf-herder of a pilot was half as devoted to her as he seemed to be.)


End file.
